| You live a stressful life, what with work demands, | | | | child. But, think about what happened. Did you explain |
| shopping, paying the bills, friends, family, hobbies and | | | | to your child every step he or she needed to do in |
| everything else! And now, your child or children are | | | | order to successfully complete what you wanted? Or |
| driving you crazy. You come home, hoping to relax | | | | did you assume they would inherently know what to |
| and have a peaceful environment, and the kids are out | | | | do? |
| of control. Can't they see you're stressed? Oh, yes, | | | | TIP #3--Your Child Needs And Wants Structure |
| they see. Maybe not consciously, but more on a | | | | Young children to teenagers feel more secure and |
| subconscious level. | | | | comfortable with structure and routine. They need to |
| TIP # 1--Your Child Mirrors Your Mood | | | | know what to expect and when to expect it. It is |
| Your child or children pick up on your mood. So, when | | | | reassuring to them. When a child is an environment |
| your stressed, angry, or frustrated, they are more likely | | | | where activities, schedules, rules routines are |
| to be that way, too. It's not something the child does on | | | | constantly changing, the child will constantly be in a |
| purpose, it's a natural reaction. Think about when your | | | | state of tension and, possibly, anxiety. Your child will |
| husband or wife is in a bad mood. If you're around | | | | behave in the ways you wish him or her to, when your |
| them for any time, pretty soon you are in a bad mood, | | | | child has developed a routine of acceptable behavior |
| too. It works the same way with you children. They | | | | because you have created that structure and routine. |
| receive their cues from you! As difficult as it may be | | | | What this means is that, as hectic and busy as the |
| sometimes, it is important, if you want to alleviate the | | | | family schedule may be, you must make an effort to |
| tension and chaos from your household, to project a | | | | make a structured schedule and stick to it, at least |
| calm and positive manner to your child. | | | | 70% of the time. Dinner at a set time, homework to be |
| TIP # 2-- You Are The Adult | | | | completed before fun with the electronic games. |
| Sounds silly, but time after time, I have seen a mother | | | | Maybe cell phones in a basket until chores are done. If |
| or father treat their child as if they had the mind of an | | | | you have been running your family environment |
| adult. Children, even teenagers, do not have the | | | | chaotic, the change to routine and structure needs to |
| development of their brain to comprehend completely | | | | be implemented, not all at once, but gradually. First, |
| the consequences of their actions. Children are | | | | family dinner at a set time, then bed time, and so on. |
| self-absorbed. They are only thinking of their world, | | | | It's not going to be easy or an overnight turn around |
| their immediate needs. When a parent gives their child | | | | for your family life to change. Remember, you are the |
| too many choices, or tells them to do something and | | | | one in control of making it happen. Your children do |
| expects them to 'fill in the missing pieces' of the action | | | | want to please you! They aren't happy either when |
| required of them, the child is going to be frustrated, fail, | | | | they are acting out or out of control. The sooner you |
| act out, or disappoint you. Not on purpose, but because | | | | start understanding your child's motivation and needs |
| they don't have the knowledge, experience or | | | | and creating an environment that supports those |
| development to be able to acceptably complete the | | | | positively, the sooner your family life will be a joy to |
| task correctly or to your satisfaction. This, of course, | | | | come home to. |
| stress' you out and you probably take it out on your | | | | |