| We've lost a comedy legend. George Carlin | | | | safe? |
| died of heart failure. He was 71. He loved | | | | |
| playing with words. It was his legacy. You | | | | 6. The very existence of flamethrowers |
| heard it on his albums, saw him perform them | | | | proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said |
| on his HBO concerts and read them in his | | | | to themselves, "You know, I want to set those |
| countless books. Here are ten of my favorite | | | | people over there on fire, but I'm just not |
| George Carlin sayings: | | | | close enough to get the job done." |
| | | | |
| 1. When someone asks you, "A penny for | | | | 7. It's never just a game when you're |
| your thoughts," and you put your two cents | | | | winning. |
| in, what happens to the other penny? | | | | |
| | | | 8. Honesty may be the best policy, but |
| 2. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. | | | | it's important to remember that apparently, |
| Continued dark overnight, with widely | | | | by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best |
| scattered light by morning. | | | | policy. |
| | | | |
| 3. People who see life as anything more | | | | 9. I had no shoes and felt sorry for |
| than pure entertainment are missing the | | | | myself until I met a man with no feet. I took |
| point. | | | | his shoes. Now I feel even better. |
| | | | |
| 4. The future ain't what it used to be. | | | | 10. I don't own any stocks or bonds. All my |
| | | | money is tied up in debt. |
| 5. If a safe is unlocked, is it still a | | | | |