| We've lost a comedy legend. George Carlin died of | | | | 5. If a safe is unlocked, is it still a safe? |
| heart failure. He was 71. He loved playing with words. It | | | | 6. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that |
| was his legacy. You heard it on his albums, saw him | | | | sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, |
| perform them on his HBO concerts and read them in | | | | "You know, I want to set those people over there on |
| his countless books. Here are ten of my favorite | | | | fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." |
| George Carlin sayings: | | | | 7. It's never just a game when you're winning. |
| 1. When someone asks you, "A penny for your | | | | 8. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to |
| thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what | | | | remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is |
| happens to the other penny? | | | | the second-best policy. |
| 2. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark | | | | 9. I had no shoes and felt sorry for myself until I met a |
| overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. | | | | man with no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel even |
| 3. People who see life as anything more than pure | | | | better. |
| entertainment are missing the point. | | | | 10. I don't own any stocks or bonds. All my money is |
| 4. The future ain't what it used to be. | | | | tied up in debt. |