How the Language of Love Has Changed in 25 Years: Swinging Couples Aren't What They Used to Be

After 25 years of marriage many things change, things“We used to go swinging almost every week in
that let you know you’re getting older.college,” Mary explained. “In fact we were
They’re especially aging when they catch youconsidered the best, but we haven’t been for
by surprise. Most shocking is when a word or symbolyears.”
you’ve used all your life suddenly means“Well, maybe you’ll learn something new
something else. Swinging couples is a good exampletonight,” Troy said with an unexplainably revolting
of this.tone.
Swinging couples used mean a lively night out dancing.Just then, a young woman with long dark hair called
My wife and I were one of the best swinging couplesfor our attention.
around. Now swinging couples can mean something“Hello, everyone, my name is Kaily,” She
dangerously different. When you’re planningannounced. “Welcome to our swinging couples
your 25th anniversary, ask one of your kids to lookretreat.”
over your shoulder to make sure you’re notMany of the guests cheered enthusiastically.
making a huge mistake.“Now that you’ve all had a chance to
It was a month until our 25th wedding anniversary. Imingle with all the other guests,” she continued,
was trying to find something that would make the“let’s begin the key party. Gentlemen,
occasion memorable. Then I found an advertisementplease bring up your room keys.”
for a swinging couples retreat. My wife, Mary, and I“What is a key party?” Mary whispered
loved to swing dance when we first got married, butto me. But I didn’t know.
we hadn’t been dancing for quite a few years“Excuse me.” I said, addressing the couple
now. Still, I imagined it would willingly come back to uswe had been talking with. “What is a key party
when we got out on the floor. And the ad said newand what do they want with my room key?”
swinging couples were welcome. If needed, we could“You’ve never been to a key party
take a lesson or two to remind us. I thought a swingingbefore?” Dianne asked, surprised. “Well
couples retreat would make a perfect way tothe first time is always the most exciting. A key party
commemorate our 25 years together.is where swinging couples split up and the woman
After an elegant dinner, Mary and I drove to the hotelpicks a random room key. Then she spends the night
where the swinging couples retreat was being held. Allwith the man who left that key.”
Mary knew before we arrived was that we neededMary gasped loud enough that every swinging couple
to be well dressed.in our corner of the room turned and looked.
She responded as I had hoped she would when we“Thank you,” I said as I gripped my
arrived at the hotel and I revealed the surprise.wife’s hand. “Mary, let’s go.”
“Swing dancing! What a romantic idea,I didn’t look to see the reaction of the other
Leonard,” she beamed. “But what if weguests.
can’t remember the steps?”We drove for the next hour trying to wrap our minds
I assured her we would remember. We checked in ataround what had just happened. Eventually, our disgust
the front desk and she took my arm as we walked toturned to humor and relief that we were far away
the ballroom.from our swinging couples retreat. Still, I couldn’t
I was surprised to see how young many of thelet our 25 th anniversary end like that.
swinging couples were. I hadn’t realized swingI pulled over at a small beach where we could be
dancing had become some popular with youngeralone. I helped Mary out of the car and we began to
crowds.swing dance in the sand. We danced until the sun
We took some hor d’oerves and mingled aswent down.
we waited for the dancing to begin.In 25 years the world has changed around Mary and
Many of the other swinging couples were very friendly.me. We are part of another time and we are old. But
There must be an open bar, I remember thinking,since our swinging couples experience, we don’t
because some were quite friendly.feel a need to fight that anymore. We’re happy
We began a conversation with another couple nearby.with the world we fell in love in and happy to part with
Troy and Dianne were their names.the one that has tried to redefine our language of love.
“So how long have you been swinging?”We are still a swinging couple. In fact, we swing every
Troy asked.week now and we are more in love than ever.