| Beyond the gropings and immediate gratifications of | | | | that the culmination of our dance will be |
| the sexual dance of adolescence and young | | | | unapologetically physical. Lightly touching each other, |
| adulthood, there is the quiet but intense satisfaction of | | | | holding hands, dancing, embracing, are all techniques |
| a mature sex life. While the unbearable tension of | | | | we use to establish a physical bond with the other. We |
| youth may have dimmed, a physical union between | | | | show affection to our pets and our babies by stroking |
| long-time lovers can be richer for the shared affection | | | | them and smoothing their hair. We want to intensify |
| and history that each partner brings to the | | | | this same soothing contact with our mate by a |
| experience.The physical act of sexual intercourse can | | | | deliberate touching that builds tension through the |
| become more exciting and satisfying if it is viewed as | | | | promise of more extensive physical contact to |
| the climax of a rising tension, much as happened in the | | | | follow.The odors of courtship have been studied |
| early days of your relationship. Somewhere along the | | | | extensively by the perfumeriers who attempt to |
| line "making love" became transformed into "having | | | | capture the subtleties of physical arousal in a bottle, |
| sex." The intricate rituals of courtship and dating | | | | attempting to make a fortune. While manufactured |
| evolved into a quick hustle before falling asleep. We | | | | scents can be pleasant and provocative, their effects |
| need to periodically recapture those rituals to build the | | | | pale before the innate prehistoric abilities nature has |
| momentum needed for climactic, explosive physical | | | | willed us. When we feel the desire to reach complete |
| sensations.Start rekindling those old feelings by creating | | | | intimacy with our partner, our bodies respond by |
| events in your life that involve only you and your lover. | | | | excreting pheromones, communicating our readiness to |
| Learn to periodically step back to the dating phase of | | | | couple as distinctively as an animal in heat signals the |
| your relationship. How long has it been since the two | | | | go ahead to potential males in its vicinity.This powerful |
| of you went out for a romantic dinner in a dimly lit | | | | magnet cannot be sprayed on from a bottle, it must |
| restaurant? How long since you last flirted | | | | emerge out of the emotions and sexual tensions that |
| outrageously with your partner?Flirtation is not teasing | | | | are slowly aroused during the game of courtship and |
| but a subtle promise of what may happen if everything | | | | seduction. Trying to hurry their onset or expecting |
| falls into place. It involves all the senses and temporarily | | | | instant arousal only short circuits their appearance. |
| elevates the body created by nature above the mind | | | | They must be allowed to build gradually and naturally |
| developed by man.Sight includes the smile of the other, | | | | as part of an overall ritual of mutual want.The taste of |
| a shake of the hair, a bounce in the walk. It may | | | | intimacy is the kiss, an exchange of all the senses |
| involve blushing or bravado, depending on your | | | | coming down to us from the dawn of our species |
| personal style. Its goal is to become the total focus of | | | | when our race was born and pre-programmed to |
| the other's attention, excluding the rest of the world | | | | copulate and reproduce. We kiss many people in our |
| from the special interaction between the two of you. | | | | lives: friends, family, and children, just to show affection. |
| Sight can also be physically stimulating through the | | | | But the romantic kisses of lovers are in a class by |
| viewing of romantic or sexual material. Men seem to | | | | themselves. Long, lingering kisses, tongue kisses, light |
| respond best to pornography whether hardcore or | | | | kissing and licking of slightly salted skin, all are of |
| soft. Women more usually prefer romance mixed in | | | | primary importance in building the desire and readiness |
| with any graphic sexual scene and prefer titillating | | | | for a full physical union.We speak of someone as |
| movies or television shows to reels of blue action. | | | | being a "great kisser," while the kisses of others leave |
| Women also tend to respond to words rather than | | | | us cold. The difference is seldom in the technique but in |
| pictures, a predilection that has created a huge industry | | | | the feelings that are aroused. If we care deeply about |
| of romantic novels and gothic mysteries. Whatever | | | | someone and want desperately to be with them, even |
| the individual preference, sight is an integral part of | | | | a light touch of the lips can evoke delight and |
| emotional and physical arousal.Our sense of hearing is | | | | excitement while the well-developed techniques of |
| intensified by low, intimate tones that amuse, delight, | | | | others seem mechanical and dull.Rekindling the |
| and entice. On a romantic date, we talk about each | | | | sensuous buffet that is dating can infuse a freshness |
| other, not about other people, or work, or world events. | | | | into the most long-established partnership. Set up a |
| We talk about how we feel about the other. We | | | | date, prepare for it as if it were your first encounter, |
| positively nurture the other's emotions and ego to | | | | and let your body take care of the natural responses |
| make each of us feel that, if for only a brief moment in | | | | that follow when you disengage your mind and your |
| time, we are perfect. Beneath the words uttered, we | | | | raw, primitive side emerges to evoke the pleasure and |
| sense the feelings of the other and respond in a | | | | satiation that an evening of well-paced and drawn out |
| mutual exchange of affection, respect and desire. We | | | | love making can provide.Dr. Bola is giving away |
| listen to a wide variety of music that softly rekindles | | | | complimentary copies of "Seven Super Simple Tips: |
| romance, stimulates and invigorates us, or brings back | | | | Keep Your Sex Life Vibrant" from which this article is |
| memories of love and satisfaction.The sense of touch | | | | taken. |
| pervades our interaction because of our awareness | | | | |