| In sports, some degree of aggressiveness is vital. Don't | | | | The second danger is that anger is a secondary |
| get me wrong, when I use the word aggressive I am | | | | emotion and a signal. If these signals are ignored the |
| referring to that fierce, tenacious spirit that builds true | | | | consequence is explosive anger which is often |
| winners. It is the kind of spirit that allows the sports | | | | destructive. Parents and other spectators who exhibit |
| person to fail and reenergize to succeed at the next | | | | anger on a sporting field are often responding to other |
| try. It is the kind of aggression that sees opportunities | | | | feelings that initially are not anger. They may feel |
| and seizes them to clutch victory over and over again. | | | | emotions like fear, embarrassment, or even jealousy. |
| This kind of aggressiveness is in my mind a hallmark of | | | | These emotions flood the mind letting us know that |
| sportsmanship. | | | | something has gone wrong that needs our attention. If |
| Sadly, however, a trend is emerging on and off the | | | | not dealt with appropriately they become anger. This |
| field that is troubling. It is a kind of aggressiveness that | | | | anger is then taken out on others in ways that has in |
| has become toxic anger. A simple little league game | | | | some cases been deadly. |
| can become a brawl that ends up in court or worse, in | | | | Individuals who exhibit inappropriate anger or |
| the hospital. Words fly on the field that should never be | | | | aggression on or off the field need anger |
| spoken anywhere, especially not in front of children. | | | | management. They need the kind of program which |
| Young players disregard the rights and physical | | | | does not take away that healthy aggression but will |
| wellbeing of their teammates all in the name of winning. | | | | teach ways to channel this aggression in appropriate |
| Parents and coaches engage in fist fights and verbal | | | | ways which is so important in sports. Here are four |
| exchanges that go beyond unacceptable behavior. | | | | tips parents and guardians can use to reduce |
| Somehow this aggression has gone bad. | | | | inappropriate anger at sporting events: |
| There are many dangers in this emerging trend but I | | | | • Ensure that your decision to enroll your child |
| will only address two. The first is related to the idea | | | | in sports is purely for your child's development. |
| that how we express anger is learned. As a | | | | • Don't display behaviors you would be |
| psychotherapist and a provider of anger management | | | | ashamed to see your child repeat |
| services based in Charlotte, North Carolina, I have | | | | • Make sure that the value placed on the |
| weekly encounters with individuals who struggle with | | | | game is realistic. |
| anger. There is one thing that remains | | | | • Be on your best behavior when interacting |
| consistent--people who struggle with anger in the | | | | with parents who have children on opposing teams to |
| majority of cases have a parent or close relative who | | | | your child |
| raised them that also have an anger problem. This | | | | Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF |
| troubles me because in sports, children who see | | | | President of the American Association of Anger |
| parents exhibit problems with anger often imitate this | | | | Management Providers |
| and are more prone to display unhealthy anger and | | | | Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd's Anger |
| aggression on and off the field. This leads to these | | | | Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC |
| children being labeled as lacking sportsmanship or | | | | If you believe that you or your child's anger is out of |
| worse, exhibiting the kind of anger that affects their | | | | control call me today at 704-804-0841 or visit my |
| ability to deal with challenges at school and in the | | | | website at for more info. |
| community. | | | | |